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International Journal of Recovery and 12 Step Research

Further Self Analysis Exercises to Free the Mind.

A good exercise is to write out the things that have cause us great discomfort, resentment, anger, and so on. Self analysis can appear difficult. Further, we would really rather just make a list of all of the persons that kept us from getting our way or caused us harm. It would be much easier to just make a blame sheet that explains why we feel uncomfortable with others or ourselves.

However, blame is not the point. We should take a hard look at our life. What did we do to facilitate our problems? What was our part? What were the raw feelings? By the way, some people have suggested to be sure and list things that you like about yourself while doing this exercise. That was a good suggestion because I make a "what I like about myself list" occasionally, and I am reminded how well the Universe is taking care of me. The bad stuff should be aired, vented, and cleared away with the proper people or friends. The good stuff can be cleaned, refined, expanded, and grown while new ideas are allowed in. Naturally, a healthy self-esteem can be good for the spirit, attitude, and faith.

To make a long story short, we can find somebody to listen. We should schedule a sufficient block of time. We prepare a list in advance to discuss. We spend as much time as needed to work through the personal history to another trusted person who is sympathetic to our growth. We should probably not to glorify a retched past. By the way, most people feel a great deal better after this excercise. Some people do keep a few things to themselves that they do not want the listener to know. Soon thereafter, most people may find a professional person to discuss the sensitive issues with. Overall, this process can be like a fountain cleansing our soul.

To some, this process may seem like a miracle. We are free again, and we now understood a strategy to stay free. Discuss it, diffuse it, and give it away to the power of the universe. Begin anew with constructive thinking. One of the golden keys to happiness and great success is the way you interpret events that unfold before you. Highly successful people are master interpreters. People who have attained greatness have a amazing ability in this area. They have the spiritual skill to interpret negative events as positive challenges that will assist them in growing and moving even farther up the ladder of success. Some of the masters can turn rejection into healthy challenges or failure into being guided into a safe direction. Remember, no one can insult without your permission.

Jobs and Work - How to Use Them

I don't like the idea of work. I do like a paycheck, health insurance, gaining experience etc. To some, working is the easy part. Finding a labor of love may be a different story for many others.

Sometimes, the idea of paying my dues within a big corporation disgusts me. Often, there is no other way to get experience. I will say that you can get into the workforce, secure your position, do a good job, and do a lot of research and work in the evenings and weekends toward your other goals. You job may be the thing that leads to opportunity, ideas, networking, etc. Never give up, and you can always search for better jobs in your spare time. Engage life's opportunity. If you are bored, then pick some things to do, and get busy.

It is probably good advice to keep a job until you have a clear plan of what you will do upon leaving employment. Either have another job waiting, have a plan to find another one, or just have a plan that commits your time to a specific goal or endeavor.


A Collection of Key Points and Strategies

· Attention and energy focus:

We can chose to focus our energy on good or bad. There is a good and constructive use of our self-will and willingness. It is prayer, gratitude, kindness, and love. Forcing or willing ourselves to think about good, loving, harmonious, and harmless thoughts. Willing ourselves to be better, to help others, to communicate, to be grateful. It is much like an exercise, and showing up and doing something is the first action into a routine that can change the focus of your state of mind. There may be a family member who has attributes that you don't like, or your job may have tasks that you can not stand performing. The key here is to focus your thoughts and energy on what you do like about your life and detach from what you do not like. What are you grateful for? It is ridiculous for me to quit my job because I do not like 1% of the work that it entails. It is also a mistake to sabotage my relationships with everybody because I don't like one tiny thing about them. With that being said, if a person or position has an attribute that goes against the very grain of your existence, you may have to separate yourself from that job or relationship.


· Skill and Knowledge

I would still have endless frustration in my life if I continued to desire to be and do things without developing an understanding of these desires. If I want to build a wonderful website, then I may need to know how to use a web design software. I would need to know or develop the subject matter that I will use for the website. If I want to be a doctor, I will need to prepare to become admitted to medical school and learn about the requirements and admissions processes. However, if I want to be the best race car driver in the world, I may not need to know how to repair the engine. Do you see what I am saying? You will require certain specific skills to go toward the desires and dreams that you have. Make sure that you are focused on what you need to know. The best surgeon in the world does not need to know how to build the operating table or equipment, he or she just needs to know how to use it better than anyone. If you are in sales, it helps to understand the product or service. If you understand the product of service, you may develop the necessary belief that the product and service is good for all who use it. You may also learn to explain the advantages of having or using what you are selling. The necessary understanding can come from books, school, or your advisors. The more understanding you have, the more prepared you are to explain, defend, and promote the item. Not only that, you will understand how to assist others with the strategies that you now understand. If you want a direct resource, seek out those who have achieved what you want to achieve. They can speak from personal experience about what you need to do. You may even try to think and act like they do. If you emulate the qualities of the best, you may become the best.

· Family, Friends and Integrity

When you do what you say you will do and complete what you intend to do, you will be looked upon as a person who can take action, make commitments, and be trusted. Don't let your family get in the way of dreams. If you have a burning desire, you should discuss it with a trusted person and get feedback. If you can refine your desire and follow through with the dreams without being irresponsible, you are doing the right thing. Believe me, I have a dozen good ideas per day. Maybe all of them are feasible; however, desires mixed with passion and love will come into being because I will be committed and faithful regarding the goal. Remember; surround yourself with people who can give you supportive insight. Over time, you will master the art of bringing desire to reality. Accordingly, learn to say no when you are asked to do something that you should not do. Learn to say no to distractions and things that limit your focus.

As a note, with your loved ones, it is better to just try and love them than to think any disharmony toward them. Wouldn't you rather improve relationships with those who should rightfully care about you. Some people go for years without talking to parents or siblings over hurt feelings or a $100 dollar family heirloom. Life is too short to throw your family in garbage. It is understandable that you may desire to separate completely from a family member for serious reasons; however, I have met too many people who have ruined and continue to harp on a family relationship gone sour. In general, if a family relationship can be healed where it is healthy for you, it is generally up to you to take action to heal it.


· Acceptance

Acceptance can mean coming to terms with your limitations. Being at ease with what the past has given. Are you willing to accept a better life? The act of accepting is and should be a receiving what is offered with satisfaction and a favorable reception. In the practice of law the definition of acceptance can be an agreeing to the action of another, by some act that binds the person in law. Do you see what that means? If you accent and agree to the bargain, then you are bound to receiving it. Overall, become willing to accept that a brighter and better life will be yours. Believe that the universe is working to help us receive the best in life which includes total abundance. Believe that you are a better person today, and there is much more for you to receive in the form of gifts of life, serenity, and happiness. Accept your misdoing, learned from them, and try to do better. You never have to make that same mistake again. We can live in acceptance today by being faithful, grateful, and coming to terms with ourselves.

· Humility

Here are some thoughts on humility. I consider humility an attribute that prevents us from allowing pride to dictate our lives. Being in tune with your place in this world is also a part of humility. Humility also helps me realize that God and others are responsible for the achievements of life as I alone can do nothing. Humility is the attribute that gives me the freedom of serving the will of the universal spirit instead of just my ego's needs.


· Grandiosity

If you look in the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions in the latter part of the 12th step section, it has a great story about our expectations and dreams in life. Moreover, it addresses our need for reasonable desires. Naturally, we may all be unrealistic in wanting to be President of the United States without thinking the desire over. Most of us can be what we want. Many great and wonderful positions and aspirations require much grooming, work, skill, and patience. If we go back to the planning stage, itemize our possibilities, review them with a friend or advisor, we may better determine the steps needed to move forward to realize our expectations and dreams.


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